First, let us say, we are so sorry for your loss.
Losing a parent is traumatic no matter how it happens, and to put it mildly, hurts like hell. It’s scary. Whether you lost one or both of your parents, your life has changed forever and you may find yourself not only trying to handle your own grief, but the grief of your surviving relatives as well. Not to mention – this is a parent who might be your primary caregiver, and now your whole life is changing. Maybe you have to go live somewhere completely different with new people and a new school. No matter what the situation is - it’s a big deal, and this experience will shape your relationship with life and death in the future.The most important thing is for you to know how to deal with the grieving process so that you can survive this – and you CAN!
What is Loss?
Sudden losses happen unexpectedly. There could be a car accident, suicide, or heart attack. These types of losses shake us to the core and make us question the stability of life.
Predictable losses are expected – maybe your parent had a long struggle with cancer or another sickness. These types of losses aren’t as shocking as sudden losses because we have time to prepare ourselves, but they’re harder because you have to deal with two kinds of grief: the kind that happens before your parent dies (anticipatory grief) and the kind that happens after their death actually happens and you say your goodbyes.
Tips for Coping with Loss:
Try your best to communicate what you need as directly and politely as possible. This is going to be difficult at best, especially when you are feeling frustrated and the people around you are trying to help.
Try your best to be open to people reaching out to you. The adults who don’t push you, but still show you that they care in a quiet sort of way are definitely the best ones to talk to when you’re feeling really down or pissed off. Make a mental list of who is safe and who is annoying (or who might be bad for you) so you know who you can go to.
It is okay to feel upset, angry, frustrated, depressed, or numb. Find a support system who will allow you to be who you are and what you need to be at the time.